It's My Life

I've always been a person who has sought out advice and opinions from other people. I genuinely have an interest in what others think, and Lord knows I'm always interjecting my opinions into situations so I figure it's best if I let other people interject their opinions into my situation. But I have a real problem with people trying to make decisions for me, or tell me what I am feeling about a particular situation. If you guessed that I'm referring once again to the friend-zoning thing, CONGRATULATIONS, you are smart. I will admit, I was a mess when it first happened, and I feel that was a completely normal reaction to have when something completely unexpected happens. But after my periods of anger, sad, depression, whatever, I know what I want my relationship with "Guy" as I referred to him in earlier posts to be, and I'm ready to start that relationship. There are so many people trying to convince me that I need to just remove Guy from my life, like they want me to forget all the amazing times I had with him and the beyond amazing conversations we've had about anything and everything. Some days it feels like nobody cares about what I want in this situation or what I need, except Guy, and believe me, the irony in that  is not lost on me. I've accepted the fact that Guy is never going to be my boyfriend. I'm not going to lie and pretend that I'm 100% okay with it, it's more like 75% on a good day, but I've accepted that it's going to be a thing. I'm never going to fully understand why it didn't work, but Guy is always going to be one of my best friends, and his happiness is what's most important, even if that happiness is not with me. I'm sick of people accusing me of being so gung-ho about this new relationship because I'm holding onto some shred of hope that it's going to make him change his mind and decide that we are perfect for each other. That thought has not ONCE crossed my mind in the last 3 weeks. I'm gung-ho about this new relationship because I need Guy in my life. There is nobody else I can talk to about anything, nobody that makes me laugh or shake my head in disbelief nearly as much, nobody that can make me feel better when I'm sad, and nobody that gives nearly as great of hugs. Just because we aren't dating doesn't mean any of those things have to go away, and although I've felt super awkward about everything the last few weeks (Lord knows what Guy is feeling) the awkwardness is gone. I'm not a girl who has a lot of friends for whatever reason, and Guy is one of the best. I can't just get rid of someone that legitimately enjoys spending time with me (well, I mean, I think it's legitimate :/) and likes to do the same type of stuff I do (mainly listen to good music, go to Beatles cover concerts, go roller skating, although that one still hasn't happened YET and waste our lives away in Edson.) Plus he thinks I'm funny, which is 100% true naturally, but it's still nice to be reaffirmed of that fact every now and then. He and I have had a lot of conversations in the past 3 weeks, some have been pleasant and some have been a bit on the "heavy" side of things, and certain conversations with him in this time period have been more helpful with the acceptance of this situation than anything else anyone has tried to tell me. I personally feel that we are going to be able to be a lot more open with each other now because there is not that weird "I'm trying to impress you super hard because I wanna be your Bae thing" (and Guy, if you're reading this, and that's completely off the mark, you should let me know that......)
 People like Guy don't come along very often in life, and when you've got someone like him in your life, regardless of whether it's a friend, a Bae, or some random dude you occasionally talk to, you don't let him go. So Guy, I know you are reading this, and I want you to fully recognize that you better get ready for a lifelong ride of crazy, because I intend on being one of your best friends until I'm either committed or dead.
So I'm done caring what other people think about this. I don't care if they think I'm jumping into hanging out and doing stuff with Guy too fast, and I don't care if they think I'm doing it because I have some weird false hope that he's going to magically decide he's in love with me and that we're going to be together forever (let's be honest, that crap never happens in real life anyway.) The only opinions that really matter are me and Guy's, and so far he's been nothing but supportive of me getting shit figured out and of us still being best friends. I appreciate that everyone is concerned for my mental well-being and all that crap, but at the end of the day, Bon Jovi said it best...